Happy New Year's Eve!!!

I was supposed to be celebrating the new year with a little someone inside, but that didn't happen. I have been surprisingly very good in handling the bad news. I haven't cried once. During the 2ww I was imagining what I would do if I get good news and if I get bad news, so I was supposed to throw my phone out of the window, cry hysterically for hours and lock myself in my bedroom for days not talking to anyone. But I guess, the meltdown the night before beta, the whole experience trying to get through and get results, really left me with no emotions by the time I did a HPT yesterday morning (OMG it already seems like so far away). I was in the office by myself last night, and I allowed myself to cry, but there were no tears in my eyes. I've been more hysterical after each failed IUI, so this completely non emotional self is really foreign to me. I am ready to start the new cycle as soon as we can, and I am looking forward to it.

The plan for today is simple, we are going to my uncle's house to meet the new years with my hometown in Europe (at 5 p.m.), then we are hurrying back to our house where all my nephews, niece and our friends kids are coming to play with Santa and his granddaughter and get their presents (we've done it last year and the kids just loved it), then at around 9 p.m. the grown up dinner will start, again at our house, so DH is cooking up a storm (everyone else is cooking as well). Last year we were full from all the appetizers before even getting to main course! We always have leftovers and everybody return on the first to finish those up :) then around 2 a.m. we are going to a party that my BIL is hosting at one of the restaurants nearby - just for music and dancing, and once we come home, DH and I usually curl up on the couch watching some New Years programming from Russia (yes, we both speak Russian, although were born in different countries), and go to bed around 5 or 6 a.m. (and if we are able to follow this, it will be a good New Years celebration).

There is another thing that I wanted to borrow from another person's blog :) and I have to do it here on the 31st, so sorry if this post is getting too big. So, she lists her top 10 things for 2010 and top 10 wishes for 2011. As most people on the infertility blogs, my life also involves around babies, and TTC, and IVF etc. You get the picture, so it is hard, but let me see how I do:

Top 10 things for 2010 (in no particular order)

1. DH and I went to Thailand for 2.5 weeks (we've been planning it for almost 6 months) in September;

2. We came to realization that we are emotionally ready for IVF right after the trip;

3. I got a good pay raise in February;

4. I grew even closer to my sister, as after she finished her maternity leave in May, we are taking a train together to work every morning;

5. I did learn most of the Hebrew letters and can read Hebrew (when the words have vowels);

6. I joined spark people, lost 4 kg in the summer (gained some of it back, but that's not the point);

7. I joined IVF.CA and found a lot of good e-friends;

8. I was introduced to blogging, found more good e-friends, and now am addicted to bloggin! Yei!!!

9. I celebrated my 30th birthday in a nice classy restaurant with lots of music and dancing!!!

10. DH and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary at the top of CN Tower!!!

Yep, that was hard!!! Now lets think forward to 2011:

Top 10 wishes for 2011 (again, in no particular order)

1. To get pregnant and give birth to a baby (or babies);

2. To lose weight (5-10 kg before the next IVF attempt);

3. Take classes to learn Hebrew;

4. Find a new job and/or work less hours;

5. learn how to cook;

6. attend 2 weddings (one in Barbados and the other one also in the Caribbean);

7. celebrate my sister's 30th in Las Vegas;

8. celebrate DH and I 10th anniversary of our fist blind date, and 5th anniversary of our wedding;

9. finish the basement in the house (that's more DH then me, but I am running out of ideas);

10. organize all paperwork at home.

So, I'll have to get back to this blog in a year's time and see how far I've gotten.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!! THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!!!