11dp3dt

Well, today was supposed to be my beta test, but most labs are closed, and we decided to wait until tomorrow when I can go to Mt. Sinai and get my results the same day (fingers crossed). Although it was an interesting morning. I woke up in the morning to go to pee, and as I was returning back to bed DH was looking at me with his sweet big blue eyes, and asking me what's the result. He was soooo sweet. I told him gently that I didn't POAS, that I decided not to and that if he wanted me to, he should have told me something the night before (so that I had everything ready for the morning). We only have one more day to go, but I don't want to know. I am in such a weird place right now, I kind of act like I am pregnant and like I am not pregnant - I don't know if it even makes sense. I just want to continue this way - in a blissful ignorance. I guess seeing BFN a few too many times, makes me want to delay this test as much as possible. That's how I feel, but I know it is unfair to others - to my DH who is patiently waiting with me, to my parents, my sis and BIL, my SIL and BIL, and DH's mom. They all have been waiting for a very very long time for any good news from us. I really hope we'll have something to celebrate this New Years, otherwise, I am just getting really really drunk on champagne.

I do have weird bouts of emotions now and then, I just start crying or laughing for no reason, usually due to a realization that I may be pregnant or not. I even surprise myself sometimes. Oh well, that's the beauty of all the hormones and meds to make this one little miracle.