Stims - Day 9 (Threat of Cancellation)

I got to my morning monitoring appointment with a few minutes to spare. It still took over an hour before having my u/s done. There was a commotion between the doctors and nurses as apparently 10 people were due to trigger today for ER on Monday (which they cannot handle), so they were trying to sort out, who will trigger today and who tomorrow. When the doctor (a fellow at the clinic) was doing my u/s, I was blissfully trying to keep count with the help of my hands and memorize the sizes. The end result was somewhere between 9 and 11 with sizes ranging from 1 to 2 cm. I was happy to hear that they were growing. Then came the shocking announcement, as the doctor reviewed the notes made by the nurse of the sizes and follicle number, she turned to me and told me that unfortunately my cycle might be cancelled, because 2 of the follicles are growing too fast and the rest of them are growing much slower. She continued telling me something about 5 follicles ( I remember the number, but completely don't remember what she was saying), basically after she uttered the word "CANCEL", my mind just went totally blank, not registering any information. I completely didn't expect it and was totally ambushed by the news. She was talking about converting it into IUI - and all i could hear in my head is "Oh, no!! We already had 5 BFNs from IUI!!!". The last thing she told me that if the progesterone goes up they'll continue for another day and make a decision tomorrow. So, I got my prescription for today, called DH barely holding it together as I was still at the clinic, and got my completely heartbroken soul to work. Well, after about 3 hours of nerve-wracking wait, I got a call that the progesterone is up, from 1,400 to over 2,000, so I still have a chance. I am trying to think rationally and telling myself that whatever happens, happens for a reason, and I will only be better off if I just go with the flow and stop stressing out. I've already lost 1.5 kg. from stress, as I barely could swallow any food. I willing my big follicles to stop growing for now and wait for their sisters and brothers, and to my little ones, I just say: grow, grow, grow. After the call, I felt completely exhausted, I haven't had my 12 hour sleep in a very long time, I am nauseous and bloated all the time. I don't know what I want anymore, at least some clarity. May be just tag along until Monday, trigger on Monday and have an ER on Wednesday and ET on Saturday. That's sounds like a nice plan, I really hope somebody up there is listening! All I can do at this point is take it easy (easier said than done) and get some sleep. I had to reschedule my acupuncturist from tonight to tomorrow morning, as I couldn’t finish all the work assignments in time, I am now going to go to my mommy, have my 8 p.m. shot, get home and go to bed, and we'll see what tomorrow brings.