Last BCP and pre-cycle jitters

I did take the last BCP on Friday and now am patiently waiting for AF to show up. I do have some twitching and cramping, but no spotting yet.

We did have a busy weekend. Friday I ended up going shopping with my mom and then went back to my parents' house to help figure out Wii game for my lil' brother (and ended up playing Wii with my mom late into the night). Saturday was an early wake up as (a) our cleaning lady was coming - finally! and just in time for DH's b-day next week, and (b) i had to get going for my gravity circuit class (probably the last one). The work out was amazing and I am sore all over now :) but feel great!!! Then we were off to my nieces birthday party - yes the second one, this time around it was for kids (and I had to be there to help with my brother and otherwise just help).

So the b-day party was going pretty well, until I saw our high school friend who was married about 2 years ago and now is very pregnant with her SECOND child. For some reason it really bothered me and I tried to stay away from her as much as possible (there were tons of other people and kids who needed my attention anyways). I managed to go through the party but lost it when DH & I stopped by to get some groceries. Yep, me crying in the middle of the supermarket (with people actually turning to look). I still blame BCP!!!

We did have friends over on Saturday night (except for my sis and sil, none of them have kids, so the conversations were light and funny).

Sunday morning we had a birthday breakfast - have you heard about that! It was about 40 min drive from our house, so DH & I were talking and our conversation moved to our 2nd IVF cycle. We were talking about what happened last time around and how we were grasping at straws to not have the cycle cancelled. We both agreed that we should have received more guidance and may be had it cancelled rather than going through with such a low level of follicles and E2. So we were trying to emotionally prepare ourselves for what can come. I told DH that our new RE would not proceed if my E2 was less than 6,500, and we agreed that if RE says the cycle is a no go - we are NOT going through with it. We also agreed that if RE is uncertain and is talking of may be cancelling this cycle - we are also NOT going forward. We pay for everything out of our pocket, so if the cycle is not going perfectly, there is no need to push it. This discussion seemed to make us both feel a bit better prepared.

This morning, however, I started to feel very anxious just trying to think about starting injections again. We are going to a concert on Sunday night and it starts at 8 p.m. and I set the date for my injection at 9, and I don't know what to do. I am not sure if there is enough space in the washroom at the theatre to start mixing medication as Gonal F comes in a pen but I have to mix Lupron together, should I pre-mix it 2 hours ahead, or should I just wait until the end and get back to my office and do it there 1.5 - 2 hours late (the theatre is about 5-10 min walk from my office). Plus, it's Monday and AF is a no-show. I know that last time it started the day I started stims, but now I am thinking that may be that contributed to the bad cycle, I don't know...

So, I called DH and told him that I was scared and very anxious about the upcoming cycle and all the injections and asked him to buy me the meditation that somebody recommended - Circle + Bloom. And he did!!! As I am typing this, DH is on his computer trying to download it onto my iPhone. Did I tell you how great my DH is :)
I hope this mediation helps, and I also remembered that I should probably try to get in touch with my acupuncturist as I want to start my weekly acupuncture sessions ASAP. So much to do, so little time. I think I am getting stressed out again. LOL