I wrote before about me being happy and hopeful again after the first IVF, and in the past couple of days I actually catch myself thinking that yes, this is it! It is going to work! and I feel happy. Even though it is gloomy and snowy/rainy outside, I feel like my sky is clear and blue. And by the way, BDing still continues to be wonderful - it feels like we are dating again ;)
When we were on vacation, DH and I were talking about having our baby(or babies) first b-day at a Caribbean resort, and we were actually planning a road trip with the baby (or babies) from Canada down to Florida when I will be on my mat leave as we would not have to worry about taking time off and could spend more time on a trip and exploring little towns along the coast. We would actually love to take the trip along the Pacific coast too, but that will have us flying all the way to Vancouver and then renting a car. But, these are just thoughts - happy thoughts! (my SIL said that we are crazy even thinking about it, baby would not enjoy a car trip and we would have to take tons of baby food to Caribbean blah blah blah, but we are not listening as we are in our happy place now :) )
Then from time to time the thought creeps in, am I jinxing myself by thinking like this IVF is a done deal (before it even started)? I really hope not! It is like a very fine balancing act - I should be positive, but not too positive to jinx myself. I think I am confused!!! I am thinking, is it possible to jinx yourself by being happy with starting IVF, or with an amount of follicles? We were doing great at the start of IVF#1, with great odds, great AFC, and great number of follicles developing and I was happy about it, so did I jinx myself? I am hoping that it just wasn't my time yet to have a baby, and my little angel just went to a different couple instead.
We all know that getting a BFP is only winning half of the battle, carrying the baby to term is another. For now I am really concentrating on finally getting to see the 2 lines for the first time in my life!!! I am a bit worried about the second part, but if I look around - my sis has 2 kids (no mc), my SIL has 2 kids (no mc), out of all of my friends and relatives who have kids only 1 had a mc. So why should I be any different? I will get my BFP and I will carry the baby(or babies) to term. PERIOD (not the bad kind). That's my thinking and I am trying to stick to it for as long as I can!
It sounds like you are in a great place! So glad to hear!
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes!! Keep staying positive...that's what I like to hear!
ReplyDeleteI agree--seize every moment of joy you can! Infertility doesn't give us many of them, so we have to make the most of them!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you're feeling optimistic. Looking forward to hearing good news from you with this cycle.
ReplyDeleteway to be positive! don't get hung up on the superstitions of being too optimistic or too happy or too sure it's going to work. hope is all we have, so keep telling yourself that this is it, that this is going to work!
ReplyDeleteThose are wonderful thoughts to have. :) And I agree with the others, positive thinking is healthy. :)
ReplyDeleteI vehemently oppose your jinxing theory. If all we had to do to get pregnant was not "jinx" ourselves, we'd all be waddling around by now. You are not jinxing yourself, so enjoy feeling positive!!
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