Life after BFN

I was so upset after losing my post that I didn't want to continue blogging, but I think I should. I will not repeat the post that I lost (at least for now), and will start catching up from the day after my b-day being May 9, 2011.

DH and I decided to start a cleansing program as my body was feeling very tired from all the hormones and medications that I had to inject during the last IVF. AF did start about 5 days after I stopped progesterone and estrogen suppositories, and it was in full swing on my birthday. Although AF was vicious, it did feel liberating. We've done the cleansing for about a week and I've lost almost 3.5 kg. I believe that most of it was water, since I do think that I might have had a mild case of OHSS after retrieval. That was last week (May 9-15), the next week we tried to keep eating healthy, which mostly worked as I barely gained anything back. Then comes the long weekend... DH & I did do a lot of walking, but we also relaxed our eating rules too (nothing too extreme, but still..). So the weight did creep up a bit. The good thing is that we do go outside much. on Saturday, we went to Lakeshore and while DH and his brother were on roller-blades, my SIL, both nephews and me were walking along lake Ontario. I even got sunburn to prove it. Yesterday (Sunday) it was raining in the morning, but in the afternoon I forced DH to take a walk around the neighbourhood which resulted in a 5.5 km walk. As a reward, we went to the movies afterwards :) Monday, was raining on and off again, but we went for a walk in a park (and didn't get wet) with my SIL and nephews. Our boys (DH & his brother) decided to cycle back from the park and ended up caught in the rain. Overall it was a good long weekend as I had not touch my computer and didn't go to the office. Which meant that today I was pretty busy at work :)

I got a call today from our RE's office. He had a cancellation and our WTF apt was moved from next Monday to tomorrow. Yei!!!

Emotionally, I do feel a bit better, although I still cry sometimes, but not on a daily basis. We tried to catch my Ov this month, but I haven't been diligent enough in taking OPKs and didn't start temping but instead relied on ewcm, which I don't think is a very good indicator. Oh well, just need to rest from all the IF start. DH & I decided that next cycle I'll start to chart with AF and will do OPKs more diligently. I should Ov around day 14-16, but who knows what 2 IVFs did to my body.

On a happier note, my sis is turning 30 at the end of the month, and I love b-days!!! They will be celebrating her actual b-day with a few friends in Las Vegas, I wish we could go too, but when they were booking the trip, we were going through IVF and didn't want to take a chance to fly there pregnant. So now no trip and no baby, I guess the joke is on us... But my BIL is planning a surprise party for my sis at home, and of course, yours truly is very much involved in planing. The guest list as it stands right now is 50 people and tomorrow, I'll have to start calling everyone for a "save the date" call. That's a good distraction from anything IF related.

This month I've decided not to participate in ICLW as I am not in a good place right now emotionally and even though I am happy for my e-friends, it still aches in my heart when I see what could have been me. I know it's not good, but that's the truth right now. I hope to get involved more in blogging when the time comes closer to our FET, but for now will stay content with blogging about my everyday life.