11 Weeks!!!

Last Thursday we crossed into 11 week territory and are now on the final stretch to our 12 week u/s next Thursday. This week the baby is a size of a lime! So DH & I have a little game that we play, we look at the ticker to see what fruit the baby resembles each week and then don't eat that fruit. So, we are not eating limes, which is easy (next week it's plums - and I have a bag of plums which I have to finish asap if we are to continue this game :) )

One of the things that I found interesting reading about 11 week baby is that the liver and kidneys are starting to function, and baby even urinates. (The urine and other wastes mix with the amniotic fluid, then crosses the placenta into my bloodstream so my body can dispose of them.) (babyfit.com). So now I am peeing for two. LOL

I haven't been feeling well, especially Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday were just awful. I was constantly nauseous and at some instances to the point of gagging, yuck! I have been exhausted and getting to bed around 10 p.m. except when I went for a 30 min walk with my SIL on Thursday which turned into a 1.5 hour walk as we were catching up on a lot of things.

So I scheduled a get together with our friends, and one of my friends, S, who actually works at our old fertility clinic couldn't make it on Saturday, so instead I met with her on Friday after work. I was so anxious about how to tell her, but figured out a way. As she was hugging me I told her to be careful and not to squish the baby, she froze with her arms stretched out and asked whose baby and I said "mine!!!". She was ecstatic. She also knows that our other mutual friend is also having a baby, so it was a double surprise for her in a couple of days. We walked from her work (our old clinic) to her house, which was a 1 hour walk, and talked a lot about our mutual friends, about my struggles to get pregnant (I was keeping her in the dark after we left the clinic where she worked), and about her getting pregnant - she is the same age as me, but says that only recently she realized that mentally she is ready to have kids but financially they are not, so she will be looking for a new job and buying a place of their own. I tried to gently persuade her to may be start trying sooner (given our 4.5 year adventure) but she said that her DH has brothers who have no problems having kids so they would not have a problem. I can only wish that what she says will be true once they start trying.

After meeting with S, I went to my parents for a watermelon - which was awesome, and that's all that I ate at their house, which is surprising as usually once I get to my parents' house I start snooping for chocolates and candy that they have in abundance (even thought they are both overweight).

Saturday morning, MIL was celebrating her birthday (which was actually a week ago when we were in Boston), but we also had to get up early to clean the house before the cleaning lady who came at 9. Then my sis texted me to pick up my niece to take to the birthday party as my nephew has been very sick and she cannot go and leave him. So, I walked to my sis' house picked up my niece and we were off to my MIL. My niece has been at my BIL & SIL house at least twice a week as she is close with both of my nephews, but for some reason when we got there on Saturday morning, she was feeling a big shy and for the first 30 min was standing right next to me, holding one of my legs tightly - it was so cute. She wanted me to hold her, but she is 4 years old and is a bit heavy for me, so she actually spend another 30 min on DH's lap, and thereafter integrated with her "cousins".

On Saturday evening our friends (two couples) were coming in for a big announcement. I was very anxious about telling them. One of the couples have had problems with TTC, but currently are not TTCing, so I was unsure how they would take the news. It went ok. Once everyone were together, the usual request for for nargila, and once DH set it up, he told them not to smoke it around his pregnant wife. There were a few words of congratulations and a few questions that revolved around how I am feeling and pregnancy and kids in generally. We also told them that we booked our vacation for November, but there were no takers to come with us (with which we were totally fine as my prego friend is coming with us, and the rest of the friends don't know yet that she is prego too!). My friend that has been TTC before took me upstairs to ask some questions. Well, our once close relationship dwindled down to occasional meeting and very rare emails (not even phone conversations), so for her, my pregnancy was a "natural miracle". She said that she doesn't want kids at this time and is pretty contempt with leaving without kids as she found some other interests in her life, but she was very happy for me (she does know how long we've been trying as we started trying pretty much at the same time as them). Her husband didn't say a word to DH or me about us being pregnant - oh well. The other couple were very sweet as I was hugging them good bye (they left first) they congratulated me and wished me all the best and really sounded genuinely happy. I told them that I was sorry that we didn't tell them in NY, but she said that it was not a problem and that we could have waited to tell the news a bit later if we wanted to. So that was nice.

Sunday, I had to go to the office, but I slept in and DH and I were lounging in bed until 11 a.m. :) We were looking at our bedroom and were talking about whether or not a bassinet would fit from my side of the bed (which is closer to the wall, than his), and than if it doesn't fit we would have to move the bed and consequently the dresser on his side, so we were trying to rearrange the furniture - it felt really good to talk about it.

I am also in constant communication by email with my prego friend who is in the States, and is not coming back to TO until the baby will be 5 months old due to her hubby's work commitments. It's nice bouncing ideas off each other.

But back to the friends' get together on Saturday. A few days before that my sis asked if she is invited, and I told her "NO" and that I didn't want other people there including my BIL & SIL. We argued about it on the way to the train and then it was forgotten, or so I thought. First, DH said that he is already invited his brother, so I spent the same afternoon "nicely" explaining to DH that I don't want it to be a circus, and I don't want it to be more awkward than it was going to be as his BIL & SIL are not really close friends with our friends. To make a long story short, DH told his brother not to come. So, I though that it was the end. But today my sis texts me that I didn't tell her how the get together went. So, I did, and then she rehashed the whole not being invited argument, and that I was being egocentric and that I should care how my family feels first before my friends who are not my "real" friends. Anyway, she made me so stressed out that I had to talk to DH for half an hour to calm down. I can't believe that she just can't let it go. How hard is it to understand that sometimes I just want things to be done my way, things which might not involve her. We do spend a lot of time together (both with her and my BIL & SIL) so it's not like I was shunning from them. Seriously, it was just one night. And by the way, I was not present anytime she announced her pregnancy - which by the way with my niece was just 2 weeks before MY wedding and she was only like 2 months pregnant. She is so self centred herself and always wants to be in the middle of things happening. and then she blames me that one of the friends (who is her good friend too) is now upset at her that she didn't tell him that we are pregnant. Seriously!!! I told her that it was NOT HER NEWS to tell, especially to the people with whom we are friends too (DH has a suspicion that she told him anyways and this whole thing is just a game). Saturday, this friend told us that he is going to play a joke on my sis and tell her that he is upset - which I told her about, but she is saying that he just said that and that he is upset- WTH!!! My head was just spinning from all of this BS, and I have to stay calm to make sure my baby is ok - thanks future auntie!!!

Anyways, I talked to my mom about it too - as she is a peacekeeper in the family, and I think that this subject is over. My sis just texted me to see if she is picking me up tomorrow - to which I replied "yes" as the u/s is on Thursday, and then we politely wished each other good night. So, I really hope that this whole thing is behind us.

I am getting emotional as it is. Last night I was feeling very shitty and then was feeling sad that I feel bad about feeling shitty, that I am not a happy glowing pregnant lady. The thought process continued to the point where I was crying because I felt that I don't deserve to be pregnant as I don't enjoy feeling like shit all the time. DH was very gentle and put me to bed saying that I was just tired and that's why I was being very emotional. DH is doing great at trying to keep me stable. I really hope once we see the baby on Thursday and the 12 week hits, the "morning" (on in my case "all day") sickness would diminish and I'll be able to enjoy pregnancy more. I already want to hold my healthy full-term baby in my arms.... 198 days to go...