I thought we lost the baby.....

The whole week I was feeling yacky. It has been very cold outside, so I was cold, plus I was constantly nauseous and was getting a cold that DS has as well.  Haven't done much work on Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, but otherwise it seemed like a regular week.

The added bonus on Wednesday (Jan. 22) was that DH had to drive his brother's family to the airport at 6 a.m. so neither of us had much sleep and we were exhausted all day.  DH and I left the office as usual and were on the way to pick up DS from daycare. We were discussing our plans for dinner and decided that after we pick up DS we would get some take out at a new restaurant that we wanted to try for a while.  When we both pick up DS from daycare, DH usually stays in the car and I go inside to get him dressed.  Same story on Wednesday.  As I was bending over to dress DS, I could feel that something was leaking.  It got me worried as it felt way more than just regular daily mucus. I picked up DS to carry him to the car as it was very cold outside and felt another stronger gush.  DH went out of the car to help me and put DS into his car seat, when everyone were inside, I told DH that we have to go straight home as something wasn't right.

The moment we opened the front door, I hurried upstairs to the bathroom. I was expecting to see a lot of white mucus, but my underwear were soaked with blood.  I sat down on the toiled and felt that I passed something.  I looked inside and there was a huge clot the size of an orange.  I screamed for DH who ran upstairs.  I told him that it was all over....

We were deciding what to do and he took a picture as the size of this thing was scary.  As I was standing I started bleeding heavily with blood dripping down my legs, so DH put me back on the toilet and hurried downstairs to take care of DS.  To my horror, I passed another huge clot, and there was lots of blood in the toilet bowl.  After washing myself (and the floor), I went downstairs to talk to DH what to do.  There was no doubt in my mind that we lost the baby.  I just couldn't comprehend that after everything that came out, there was something left.  I called my parents to break the news, and was told to go to emergency right away as there might have been pieces left that needed cleaning. I told my mom that we had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, but she was adamant that we went right away.  I really didn't want to go to ER as the wait is always long, so I called tele.health, the services that connects you to a registered nurse who asks a million questions and tells you what is the best course of action for you.

I was on the phone with her for 15-20 minutes.  I mostly stopped bleeding, and the only symptom that I had was that I was still nauseous. To my surprise after she finished collecting information she told me to go directly to the hospital NOW, and if I couldn't get someone to drive me, call 911 for an ambulance.  So I called my parents and asked for my mom to come over to babysit DS and put him to bed for the night.  She came in about 20 min and we were on our way.

DH dropped me off at ER and went to park the car. There were many people in the waiting room, and it appeared that we it was the wait for a triage nurse.  It took us about 30 minutes to see a triage nurse who was completely useless, she would ask a question, I would answer, but if I wanted to tell her something or asked a questions, she just plain ignored me.  My blood pressure was a bit high, and by that point I was feeling very dizzy and lightheaded.  I cried a bit here and there as the severity of what happened started to get to me.

After finishing with triage nurse and registering, we were sent to a yellow area of the ER.  There after a short wait, a nurse took my vitals and blood.  My pressure was better, and she commented that it is normal for people to have higher blood pressure when they arrive to the ER.  After that we were finally put into a room.  Well... it looked more like a closet, and DH was feeling claustrophobic. I, on the other hand, was fine. There we waited and waited and waited.  Then a resident came in. She listened to our story, checked my tummy for pain and said that she and the doc on call would want to do an internal exam and an u/s.  She left and came back with two glasses of water for me to drink to have an u/s done.  I finished those quick and waited some more. People were coming and going. First a doctor came in, but he was looking for someone else. The a nurse came in looking for the resident. After about 40 min, I could feel that all the water was were it was supposed to, so I sent DH to investigate.  We opened the door a bit and he was on a look out for the resident or the nurse that was taking care of us.

It turned out that the resident was nowhere in site and the nurses couldn't find her. Nice... Then another nurse came (who wasn't taking care of me) and said that they need a room so we should wait in the waiting room.  DH got pissed of at her, told her that we have been waiting for an hour for an u/s and that I was very uncomfortable and in no way I am going into the waiting area. Thankfully, another nurse arrived to our rescue and we just moved a couple of rooms down the hall.  That room didn't have a door but a curtain, which was open. So more air was coming in, plus we could see what was going on.

We were happy to finally see an u/s machine, but it was rolled past our room into the neghbouring room. Ugh...  Then the resident appeared and was told that the u/s is just in the next room.  In a few minutes, we finally had the resident, the doctor and the u/s machine in our room.  When the doctor started looking and saying what he was saying, his words didn't resonate with me.  His first words were "I see an in-uterine pregnancy". I was in shock.  He said he can see the baby and the heart beat. I asked him for the measurements and he said that he couldn't measure on the bedside u/s machine and it can only be done on the normal machine, so he can schedule an u/s for me for the next day. I told him that I had an appointment on Friday at the early pregnancy clinic, so I didn't really need on on Thursday. He agreed. DH also asked him about the chances of miscarriage and was pissed when the doctor told him it can be 0 or 100% only time will tell.  He told us no lifting anything heavy and no sex.

Overall, we didn't do that bad. We were at the hospital for a bit over 3 hours, and I was preparing spending the entire night there (I've heard stories).

Thursday, I spent home in bed or on the couch, sleeping or watching movies.  I wanted to take it easy to help my little fighter as much as I could.  DH took the baby to MIL and I only spent an hour or so with him in the evening.

Today (Friday) was our second u/s.  I was nervous. In addition, DH's brother schedule an appointment for their mother at pretty much the same time. He forgot that he was away on vacation, and didn't ask us if we had a conflict.  My apt was for 9:30 and MIL's was for 9:45. Thankfully, at the same hospital.  So the plan was that we would leave early, leave MIL in her doc's reception, go to my apt about 9:15 and pray that we get to go in early, and if it will take a bit longer, DH would just leave and go to MIL.

It was a nice plan, but it didn't work out.  We got to MIL's reception and they sent her for an X-ray right away.  There was no point for me to stick around there, so I went upstairs by myself.  MIL is like a baby and doesn't speak English so she needs someone next to her all the time. I was able to go upstairs and talk to a nurse. As I sat down to wait, the doctor took another patient, so I called DH and he said the are also waiting for X-ray with another person ahead of them. I was hoping he was done and he can come up, but no luck.  The doc called me right away.  I retold her my story, and she said that all labs that were done on Wednesday are good.  She said that she would try with trans-abdominal u/s and then if it doesn't work, she will do trans-vaginal.  She was able to see the baby right away.  Knowing that I was anxious, she turned the screen my way, and told me that the baby is doing great. There is a heart beat (didn't tell me how fast) and that the baby was measuring 8w6d. Which was great news as exactly two weeks ago, he was measuring 6w2d, and according to my LMP I am 9 weeks even.  She said that the chance of miscarriage is minimal as the baby is growing the way he is supposed to and has a heart beat.  She even printed a picture (which is not clear, but it still is a picture).  She said that if it would make me feel better, she wants me to schedule another u/s in 2 weeks, if I don't get an appointment with OBGYN by that point.  She also said that if the bleeding increases, I can call the clinic and schedule another appointment much sooner.

She looked around for the cause of the bleeding and clotting, but couldn't find anything.  There was something that she thought she saw, but after taking a closer look everything seemed normal.  She gave me one possible explanation, but I didn't really understand what she was talking about.

Needless to say, I was happy and sooooo relieved.  I took the picture, made the next appointment and hurried to give good news to DH.  He was upset that he missed the u/s, but happy that everything seemed ok.

We spent another hour at the hospital dealing with MIL and then DH dropped me at home, so I could keep it easy for another day.  I am thinking if there will be no episodes during the weekend, I'll be back to the office on Monday.  Luckily, I am working for myself and can choose my own schedule.

I have been very careful about not lifting DS at all. So DH is getting up early to help me get DS ready in the morning.  Lets see how long that will last.

Hopefully, I'll be back with a post in 2 weeks about our 11 week baby.