TTC # 2

I haven't been on here much lately, but I do religiously check the blogs I follow. It is interesting how the lives of people I follow change and a lot of them just stop writing. I know it's hard with a little one (or two - in most cases) at home to find time to sit and document everything. I have been meaning to update our family blog too since the beginning of the summer but that dragged on as well and we are now in August and I don't have a single post since June 1st.

August brings with it our "initial" appointment with RE on August 21. I did send in a referral at the beginning of the summer. I have mixed feelings about this appointment.  We have not been protecting since DS was 6 months (September 2012). I have used ovulation tests, but after DS was born I know exactly when I am ovulating as I feel period like cramps and am bloated. We do try to BD around those days, but no natural miracle so far and I doubt it is going to happen.

The pain and disappointment of the 5 years before DS was born is still with me, and I so don't want to live through that nightmare again. Moreover, now I cannot just think about myself, I have to think about DS, he needs his mommy, full of energy, mommy who can run with him and play games, and provide for him. I am dreading stepping on that IF roller-coaster once again, but don't see any other alternative. We really want a sibling for DS, I really want to feel another baby developing inside me, to feel this form of love that only parents can feel towards their children, to breastfeed again...  So notwithstanding anything, we are starting this crazy journey again with hopes that if we can just recreate the last FET, it would not be a long one, but who knows what awaits us ahead.